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Life of an Empath Part 2: Sex, Love and Relationships


Being an empath/neurodivergent means being incredibly sensitive to energy and other people’s feelings, thoughts and emotions so it is no surprise that I have always had a rather different attitude to sex and love compared to the majority in this day and age. Some people see sex as a way to service a need,  but as far as I am concerned, it’s like a sacred union which shouldn’t be recreated with just anyone. When two souls are combined in the flames of passion with all their senses stimulated and you are sharing every intimate part of yourself, it really is something quite indescribable.Alex Grey Ocean o love bliss

SEX IN OUR MODERN SOCIETY: I am always surprised by the number of women who come away from a sexual encounter having not enjoyed themselves and having to fake it.I faked my orgasm I have always wondered about women who sell sex and then go home to their partners and often pondered if they had the true meaning of sex taken away from them through abuse early on in life which is why they can just switch off when they have sex with a stranger and pretend to be someone’s fantasy for the hour. since sex got easier to find, love got harder toMind you, it is the world’s oldest profession and knowing how to correctly pleasure someone is considered a high art in some cultures, so who am I to judge? Equally, I was always alarmed when I would come across kids in the classroom discussing sex. It made me wonder what has gone so horribly wrong with the world that sex seems to have lost all meaning and is regularly just a way to fulfil a physical desire, often in an attempt to recreate the freely available porn videos we have access to 24/7 where women are rarely treated with respect as the goddesses they are. It makes me weep a little at the possibility that less and less children are being brought into the world through the act of love with someone you know, love and trust.

SEX IN THE CITY: ONE-NIGHT STANDS,  BOOTY CALLS & FWBs (Friends With Benefits) sex without love is merely healthy exercise there's a huge difference between having sex and making love looking for love in all the wrong places LookingForLove in all the wrong placesPeople who didn’t have enough love growing up or suffered some form of physical/emotional/sexual abuse will inevitably end up trying to fill the void with sex. Girls especially tend to fall into the trap of equating someone trying to sleep with them to the feeling of being wanted and therefore loved. I did a lot of reading as a kid especially around the subject of psychology and realised that I never wanted to fall into that category because of my past so decided that I never would have a one-night stand. I never watched Sex in the City for example as the concept baffled me. Friends and colleagues would regularly tell me I was seriously missing out on fun with a stranger, but I have always found the idea of getting naked and attempting to arouse and pleasure someone you barely know such a bizarre thing to do. To do it when you are under the influence of something or totally drunk seemed even more absurd. The thought of then being compared to someone else the following weekend also didn’t appeal to me. I am sure that there are bonuses to this kind of thing when both people know that is just for fun and can walk away no harm done but I always get the feeling that most people should want something more intimate and fulfilling than a few hours with someone they will never see again (or Classy women don't have one-night standsmaybe will see again in the same bar/club trying to pull someone else!) And don’t even get me started on the concept of booty calls  – I tried this once ( my ex and I were still intimate after our break-up) and realised that you have to be a little dead on the inside to do this to yourself on a regular basis… As for FWBs,  I also remember having sex with someone who  loved me (or who thought they did – I knew better) but who was clearly warned that  I didn’t and couldn’t ever love them back… Even though I had been honest about it from the get-go and they tried to convince me they were cool with it, I knew deep down they would always be filled with hope and I felt terrible. I put this awful episode down to their complete arrogance in thinking I was simply confused and didn’t realise I loved them as much as I blame myself for  being a naive fool to think I could go against my own belief system and everything would work out fine. We live and we learn… love sex and FWB ChartBeing intimate with them just seemed like so many types of wrong as I knew I was not being true to myself and my principles about what love should be and how you should behave if you care about someone and don’t want to hurt them. sex is not enough to make someone love you They seemed to have the idea that if they could be allowed to pleasure me they might find a way into my heart. Whatever you do, don’t fall into the same trap and kid yourself! Have some self-respect and find someone else to love, starting with yourself. If it is true love, you will come to have place in their heart with little effort on your part!


break-the-rules-in-life-quote It is not love at first sight but that click....There are, of course, exceptions to every rule and I broke my no-one-night-stand law when I felt an incredibly strong bond and instant connection to someone. I was on a date ( the second and last I ever went on – they are much too contrived!)  when I bumped into them on the way to the loo and I remember my whole being vibrating as they walked by.  empath - a blessing and curseThere are some disadvantages to being an empath but this is one of the advantages to feeling everything soooo deeply i.e. when you meet someone important who is going to change your life,  you KNOW straight away. I said goodbye to my date telling him I was bored (sometimes I can be too honest, I know, but honesty is the best policy!) and ended up hanging out with this aura-shaking person instead. Seduce my mind and you can have my body, seduce my soul and I am yours forever I was right to go with my gut feeling as that individual and I did not spend a night apart for the first two years of our six-year relationship. I just had a good feeling that this person could be trusted with my heart and that we would be compatible emotionally, mentally and physically and could live together as a team. What follows is a summary of what happens when two empaths fall in love 😀 ‘Tis a beautiful thing to behold 😀

                                   LEARNING HOW TO LOVE WITH ALL YOUR SOUL: Being naked in love

Up until meeting this person, I had had three long-term relationships in a row with people who were deeply in love with me and that I loved, BUT they had approached me, not the other way around. When I met this particular individual, my whole world literally sho_Ok and I just had to stop and talk to them. I was totally sober at the time when I grabbed their phone and put my number in (which is totally unlike me to be so forward!) To be fair, it was something neither of us could have run away from as we had a soul-mate connection and the nature of this karmic relationship eventually ended up with us changing each other’s life in more ways than one. People build up walls That mutual feeling and magnetic pull we had right from the beginning made sure that we carried out the karma we owed each other over the years so we could move to the next level of spiritual evolution in our lives when it was all over. We taught each other how to love and trust another person 100% despite the respective pain and lack of love we had experienced growing up. Together we conquered many internal fears through caring deeply for each other and sharing every aspect of our lives. We showed each other parts of ourselves that no else got to see and discovered parts we didn’t even know were there 😀 spiritual sex It goes without saying that the best sex you will ever have is with someone where you are totally open and can know each other inside out without needing to actually communicate in words; where you are not just having sex with their physical body but their mind, heart and soul. Some people call this tantric sex, I just call it sex 😀   Sadly there is such a thing as loving someone too much and what had the potential to be long-lasting union turned into an emotionally-abusive mess when the green-eyed monster reared his ugly head..

Jealousy  - A-Little-Jealousy-In-A-Relationship-Is-Good BUT    NEVER FORGET:     Jealousy - just another name for insecurity                                          





I’M ALL GOOD NOW THOUGH AND HERE IS WHY :  when you tell your story and it doesn' t make you cry, you know you have healed THE NEXT LEVEL = LEARNING HOW TO LOVE MYSELF AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE: tumblr_llgyduradY1qcncteo1_400

It was after this that I decided that I didn’t want to have another relationship for A LONG TIME while I focussed on my spiritual life and becoming a teacher and holistic therapist so I decided should abstain from sex and masturbation. I’m an empath and feel everything so deeply in my core, so when I give myself to someone, I give everything – mind, body and soul.Heart - having a big one However, at that moment in my life, I realised I wanted to love and heal myself first so that I would be well equipped and whole enough to offer love and support to groups of people who need it, especially kids, not just one person. I realised that I had should not allow myself to be intimate with anyone at all for a while as it might take away my focus. Bizarrely, the moment you decide you don’t want to have anyone around, you get more offers than ever before lol. Your personality is what makes you beautifulMaybe it is because I spent time empath - Aura photoalone working out who I am outside of a relationship, finally being single for the first time in over a decade. As I began to deepen  my relationship with spirit and grow in confidence based on how good I felt about myself – rather than relying on someone else to love and admire me – my inner light started to shine brighter and perhaps people instantly feel drawn to the vitality I displayed… I started to develop a kind of cosmic love which meant that I could transfer love/energy to others without even having to touch them through the use of reiki/chi transference. In those moments when people seem desperate to be intimate, I am finding that just holding /hugging the person is enough and seems to do the trick as it charges them up enough to be on their merry way. I get a bit of healing at the same time too 😀

 Sometimes just being there is enough Hugs - calvin and hobbes


I want to sleep with you  - just sleep with you

Being an energetically sensitive old soul is a strange thing when you meet someone with a similar vibe, especially if you are attempting to become enlightened/make spiritual advancements in this lifetime. I have to be really careful nowadays not to get it twisted and remember that it is not a case of love at first sight or a feeling of sexual arousal as most of the people who are attracted to me seem to think… I met people while travelling last summer that I felt deeply attached to and it was so nice just to sleep beside them and hold them for the night. It was a deeply gratifying experience full of admiration, appreciation and attraction without the attachment or entanglement.

It is more a case of feeling like you have found a long-lost friend, a soul brother or sister as it were. It is a deeper connection than can be achieved on a physical level, it is a connection of a kindred spirit who is on a similar mission to you or who has some lesson to teach you to assist you on your way to the next level.eyes You have probably already loved them before in another life so no rush to go there again.  You know it when you meet them and it’s all in the eyes beckarma cleanseause the eyes are the windows of the soul and when you look through that window and see something you recognise or have known before in another life, of course, your natural reaction will be start a reunion. But I would advise caution with that so that you don’t incur more karma in this lifetime by messing with someone’s emotions or interfering with their relationship if they are already in one. Don’t get it twisted, don’t get tangled up 😀 Ask yourself why you really feel the need to attach yourself to someone and if you do get involved, make sure you learn the lesson, release and move on.


I have big heart If there is one thing I am learning about myself it is that I have no patience and act impulsively so these days I do my best to wait and see why I am feeling the way I am about a person and what I think I will learn about myself by being involved with them. Through analysis I find I save the trouble of causing them or myself any heartache because it’s either just a spiritual/ soul connection or just my ego asking to be stroked through such an alliance.

Heart - having a big one Many empaths are very loving people and have a lot of love to give and sometimes show physical love to people who just need love, care and affection. Empaths sometimes end up in a relationship with someone whom they ought not to be with if they were to stay true to themselves and their principles but because they are so loving and prefer to find focus on the good in someone then they ignore the person’s negative traits and behaviours and often stay in the relationship way longer than they should AND FAR TOO PATIENT. It has taken me a bit of time to learn that I shouldn’t be physical with someone just because they want it to be so because what they really need is love and support in a non-physical sense i.e. healing. Love is the greatest healing energy If and when it is the right time to be in love again and intimate with someone, I will know it 😀 Till then, I’ll put the sexual energy into my dancing, and my expression of love into my compassionate work with the disaffected & disadvantaged youth of today.  There isn’t enough of that kind of love around in the world. Since I have love in abundance, too much to reserve for just one person, I figure it’s best to put it to good use for myself and the masses. People tend to disagree with me on this point but I feel a certain kind of bliss that is permanent from practising this kind of spiritual love and as strange as it may sound, no orgasm would be able to surpass this kind of feeling 😀


  • Here’s an article on sex and spirituality and how they can be combined
  • This article discusses why it may be dangerous to shut down your 2nd chakra by not having sex (personally I think since it governs sex and creativity so it is still active through my dancing :D)
  • This one is an interesting read on women and the use of tantric sex for spiritual alchemy
  • Here’s a short read on sex with a soulmate
  • If you are interested in what kinds/types of soul-mates there are out there then try this
  • If you are new to these topics then Google empath, indigo, crystal, clairsentient, clairvoyant, auras, chakras, intuitive healer, rainbow warrior or all of the above and see where it leads 😀

♥<3 Namaste <3♥

Namaste If this helped any or if you have bits of your own story/journey that can help others, then why not leave a comment? Sharing’s caring 😀

The wasp is very social, and has special means of communication with its family and is associated with productivity, order and evolution...
The wasp is very social, and has special means of communication with its family and is associated with productivity, order and evolution…

This morning the first thing I saw was a wasp – whenever I see an animal repeatedly or one catches my attention whether in my waking life or my dreams, I know it is trying to tell me something – so I guess I need to get my shi8 together as regards my summer project for kids since the wasp represents productivity, getting on with new projects and keeping one’s focus… So this week, I am going to finally print some flyers…Gulp… I have been thinking about this activity club for kids since last summer when children approached me in the Crystal Palace park and their parents asked if I was running some kind of club for kids… I love doing voluntary youth work and working as a private tutor for hyperactive kids but I know I can do more since I strongly believe that kids need to be OUTSIDE in nature, not holed up in their bedroom watching Rihanna’s antics,

Fame & money can't buy you happiness it seems...
Rihanna and the cult of celebrity which is ruining the minds of today’s youth…

discussing celebrity news, zoning out to mindless TV or searching for porn (if one believes recent research findings)…So I yesterday I started to populate my Facebook page(Isis8star), uploaded some videos and will make my flyers by the end of the week… Yes. I. Will!

It is not like I am not getting daily encouragement, mind you…I was on the train yesterday very tired after a long session with my ‘autistic’ pupil, and two kids were in front of me messing around … I looked at the dad and smiled then started pulling faces at the kids.. It turns out that the father was deaf as were his children with the daughter being mute additionally.. I thought I would struggle to communicate with them, but by the end of my train journey I was tickling one upside down and teaching the other one how to spin poi (much to the chagrin of my fellow passengers;-)) It is days like these that make me want to keep soldiering on as the dad mouthed to me that he had never seen them so happy 😀 Coincidentally, I know that this moment happened for a reason so it made me want to finish my Makaton course and start studying sign language properly

Makaton is a communication system that uses speech along with body language, signs, and pictures to represent words and names.... Every primary school should be using this, every teacher should know it!
Makaton is a communication system that uses speech along with body language, signs, and pictures to represent words and names…. Every primary school should be using this, every teacher should know it!

So, one of the questions one has to ask oneself if one sees is a wasp is, am I am in line with my goals, am I procrastinating or allowing others to get in the way of my projects?

Never feel guilty about putting yourself first...You can't help anyone if you are running on empty!
Never feel guilty about putting yourself first…You can’t help anyone if you are running on empty!

Honestly, the last year has been about trying to find someone to who understands what I am trying to do and will allow me to couch surf while I save money for this project as I no longer live in London.. But sadly these arrangements always turned into me playing life coach to the person in question by introducing them to crystals, veganism, less intoxicating lifestyle etc rather than focussing on myself… Not gonna happen this year, I have to put my foot down..I can’t blame anyone else by myself.. I have to be much firmer and unwavering in my approach to my goal but finding the alone time to do that has been rather tricky!

The children are our future - we need to get it right!
The children are our future – we need to get it right!


Very few people understand why I don’t feel the need to be in a relationship right now.. I actually gave up the love of my life and the opportunity to have my own kids two years ago when I realised that all my energy had to go into becoming a teacher and making the world a better and safer place for the hundreds of kids who don’t seem to have any adequate guidance and feel a bit lost these days… Our nation’s education system is not working and kids are feeling more and more disenfranchised and disillusioned every day. Not to mention the fact that the number of children with ‘special education needs’ is growing exponentially and very few schools are equipped with a head who gets this, let alone teachers or learning assistants who are aware of the techniques required to assist these children.. I always say, there are no learning difficulties, only learning differences..

The Scottish rebel who is responsible for England's first Alternative Free School - Summer Hill
The Scottish rebel who is responsible for England’s first Alternative Free School – Summer Hill
Steiner Schools place emphasis on movement and spirituality (click photo for more on his theory :D)
Steiner Schools place emphasis on movement and spirituality (click photo for more on his theory :D)
Maria Montessori, FIRST the education of THE SENSES , then the education of the intellect
Maria Montessori, FIRST the education of THE SENSES , then the education of the intellect

My experience of being in a state school and tutoring private pupils is that teachers always focus on what these children lack, rather than paying attention to what they CAN do.. They may have dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, not be able to focus on one thing or keep their bums on their seats BUT if you look a little deeper, you will find that they are great artists, natural musicians, are amazingly coordinated or have a deep knowledge and understanding of subjects that most adults struggle with… They are here to teach us a different way to be, if only anyone would listen to them/pay attention…

Please click here for an article/video on these revolutionary philosophies:


Hilaria Baldwin 2 INDIGO Stylized children around a rainbow

All my time should be taken up with doing research on healing modalities for kids with ADD and ADHD as well as Autism/Asberger’s (for the record, I hate these labels!) but other people’s designs on my time tend to get in the way… Every time I take an interest in an adult’s welfare and try and help them out a bit, they interpret this as love meant especially for them… Well, it is, in a way, but it’s ‘cosmic’ love, as in the same love I have for all my fellow brothers and sisters… I try to show people how to stand strong and find their hidden talents but by helping them to recognise what no other has done, they misread my efforts and intention. The point is to get them to love themselves from the inside. No one can truly love you until this happens!!! There are plenty of kids who do not love themselves, have never been shown, and will never know what it really is as they have parents who themselves did not receive enough growing up. If you get to the kids, I believe the magic works its way through the family as well as into the future of our planet 😀

indigo, crystal, rainbow


Every animal knows more than you do
Anyway, I digress… If you see a wasp, (or anything in nature), and it sticks in your mind, consider what it means for you:

“The prime season of the wasp is spring, and so it is symbolic of new beginnings, and starting new projects.

The wasp is very social, and has special means of communication with its family. When the wasp appears in our lives it is a message for us to consider our own methods of communication. The wasp might be a sign that we may need to express ourselves more clearly.

Because the wasp is symbolic of communication, order and productivity, those who encounter the wasp may ask themselves:

  • “Are all my affairs in order?”
  • “Am I aligning myself with my goals?”
  • “Am I procrastinating about something?”
  • “Am I keeping myself from reaching my highest potential?”
  • “Am I allowing my progress to be held back by others?”

Wasps are perfect totems for those of us who need a bit of organized focus, and assistance with assertive communication.

The wasp can also help in areas of building, whether it be a new home, or building on a dream – the wasp is a master architect and can guide you with the planning of any building project you have in mind.