All posts by isis8star

Life of an Empath Part 2: Sex, Love and Relationships


Being an empath/neurodivergent means being incredibly sensitive to energy and other people’s feelings, thoughts and emotions so it is no surprise that I have always had a rather different attitude to sex and love compared to the majority in this day and age. Some people see sex as a way to service a need,  but as far as I am concerned, it’s like a sacred union which shouldn’t be recreated with just anyone. When two souls are combined in the flames of passion with all their senses stimulated and you are sharing every intimate part of yourself, it really is something quite indescribable.Alex Grey Ocean o love bliss

SEX IN OUR MODERN SOCIETY: I am always surprised by the number of women who come away from a sexual encounter having not enjoyed themselves and having to fake it.I faked my orgasm I have always wondered about women who sell sex and then go home to their partners and often pondered if they had the true meaning of sex taken away from them through abuse early on in life which is why they can just switch off when they have sex with a stranger and pretend to be someone’s fantasy for the hour. since sex got easier to find, love got harder toMind you, it is the world’s oldest profession and knowing how to correctly pleasure someone is considered a high art in some cultures, so who am I to judge? Equally, I was always alarmed when I would come across kids in the classroom discussing sex. It made me wonder what has gone so horribly wrong with the world that sex seems to have lost all meaning and is regularly just a way to fulfil a physical desire, often in an attempt to recreate the freely available porn videos we have access to 24/7 where women are rarely treated with respect as the goddesses they are. It makes me weep a little at the possibility that less and less children are being brought into the world through the act of love with someone you know, love and trust.

SEX IN THE CITY: ONE-NIGHT STANDS,  BOOTY CALLS & FWBs (Friends With Benefits) sex without love is merely healthy exercise there's a huge difference between having sex and making love looking for love in all the wrong places LookingForLove in all the wrong placesPeople who didn’t have enough love growing up or suffered some form of physical/emotional/sexual abuse will inevitably end up trying to fill the void with sex. Girls especially tend to fall into the trap of equating someone trying to sleep with them to the feeling of being wanted and therefore loved. I did a lot of reading as a kid especially around the subject of psychology and realised that I never wanted to fall into that category because of my past so decided that I never would have a one-night stand. I never watched Sex in the City for example as the concept baffled me. Friends and colleagues would regularly tell me I was seriously missing out on fun with a stranger, but I have always found the idea of getting naked and attempting to arouse and pleasure someone you barely know such a bizarre thing to do. To do it when you are under the influence of something or totally drunk seemed even more absurd. The thought of then being compared to someone else the following weekend also didn’t appeal to me. I am sure that there are bonuses to this kind of thing when both people know that is just for fun and can walk away no harm done but I always get the feeling that most people should want something more intimate and fulfilling than a few hours with someone they will never see again (or Classy women don't have one-night standsmaybe will see again in the same bar/club trying to pull someone else!) And don’t even get me started on the concept of booty calls  – I tried this once ( my ex and I were still intimate after our break-up) and realised that you have to be a little dead on the inside to do this to yourself on a regular basis… As for FWBs,  I also remember having sex with someone who  loved me (or who thought they did – I knew better) but who was clearly warned that  I didn’t and couldn’t ever love them back… Even though I had been honest about it from the get-go and they tried to convince me they were cool with it, I knew deep down they would always be filled with hope and I felt terrible. I put this awful episode down to their complete arrogance in thinking I was simply confused and didn’t realise I loved them as much as I blame myself for  being a naive fool to think I could go against my own belief system and everything would work out fine. We live and we learn… love sex and FWB ChartBeing intimate with them just seemed like so many types of wrong as I knew I was not being true to myself and my principles about what love should be and how you should behave if you care about someone and don’t want to hurt them. sex is not enough to make someone love you They seemed to have the idea that if they could be allowed to pleasure me they might find a way into my heart. Whatever you do, don’t fall into the same trap and kid yourself! Have some self-respect and find someone else to love, starting with yourself. If it is true love, you will come to have place in their heart with little effort on your part!


break-the-rules-in-life-quote It is not love at first sight but that click....There are, of course, exceptions to every rule and I broke my no-one-night-stand law when I felt an incredibly strong bond and instant connection to someone. I was on a date ( the second and last I ever went on – they are much too contrived!)  when I bumped into them on the way to the loo and I remember my whole being vibrating as they walked by.  empath - a blessing and curseThere are some disadvantages to being an empath but this is one of the advantages to feeling everything soooo deeply i.e. when you meet someone important who is going to change your life,  you KNOW straight away. I said goodbye to my date telling him I was bored (sometimes I can be too honest, I know, but honesty is the best policy!) and ended up hanging out with this aura-shaking person instead. Seduce my mind and you can have my body, seduce my soul and I am yours forever I was right to go with my gut feeling as that individual and I did not spend a night apart for the first two years of our six-year relationship. I just had a good feeling that this person could be trusted with my heart and that we would be compatible emotionally, mentally and physically and could live together as a team. What follows is a summary of what happens when two empaths fall in love 😀 ‘Tis a beautiful thing to behold 😀

                                   LEARNING HOW TO LOVE WITH ALL YOUR SOUL: Being naked in love

Up until meeting this person, I had had three long-term relationships in a row with people who were deeply in love with me and that I loved, BUT they had approached me, not the other way around. When I met this particular individual, my whole world literally sho_Ok and I just had to stop and talk to them. I was totally sober at the time when I grabbed their phone and put my number in (which is totally unlike me to be so forward!) To be fair, it was something neither of us could have run away from as we had a soul-mate connection and the nature of this karmic relationship eventually ended up with us changing each other’s life in more ways than one. People build up walls That mutual feeling and magnetic pull we had right from the beginning made sure that we carried out the karma we owed each other over the years so we could move to the next level of spiritual evolution in our lives when it was all over. We taught each other how to love and trust another person 100% despite the respective pain and lack of love we had experienced growing up. Together we conquered many internal fears through caring deeply for each other and sharing every aspect of our lives. We showed each other parts of ourselves that no else got to see and discovered parts we didn’t even know were there 😀 spiritual sex It goes without saying that the best sex you will ever have is with someone where you are totally open and can know each other inside out without needing to actually communicate in words; where you are not just having sex with their physical body but their mind, heart and soul. Some people call this tantric sex, I just call it sex 😀   Sadly there is such a thing as loving someone too much and what had the potential to be long-lasting union turned into an emotionally-abusive mess when the green-eyed monster reared his ugly head..

Jealousy  - A-Little-Jealousy-In-A-Relationship-Is-Good BUT    NEVER FORGET:     Jealousy - just another name for insecurity                                          





I’M ALL GOOD NOW THOUGH AND HERE IS WHY :  when you tell your story and it doesn' t make you cry, you know you have healed THE NEXT LEVEL = LEARNING HOW TO LOVE MYSELF AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE: tumblr_llgyduradY1qcncteo1_400

It was after this that I decided that I didn’t want to have another relationship for A LONG TIME while I focussed on my spiritual life and becoming a teacher and holistic therapist so I decided should abstain from sex and masturbation. I’m an empath and feel everything so deeply in my core, so when I give myself to someone, I give everything – mind, body and soul.Heart - having a big one However, at that moment in my life, I realised I wanted to love and heal myself first so that I would be well equipped and whole enough to offer love and support to groups of people who need it, especially kids, not just one person. I realised that I had should not allow myself to be intimate with anyone at all for a while as it might take away my focus. Bizarrely, the moment you decide you don’t want to have anyone around, you get more offers than ever before lol. Your personality is what makes you beautifulMaybe it is because I spent time empath - Aura photoalone working out who I am outside of a relationship, finally being single for the first time in over a decade. As I began to deepen  my relationship with spirit and grow in confidence based on how good I felt about myself – rather than relying on someone else to love and admire me – my inner light started to shine brighter and perhaps people instantly feel drawn to the vitality I displayed… I started to develop a kind of cosmic love which meant that I could transfer love/energy to others without even having to touch them through the use of reiki/chi transference. In those moments when people seem desperate to be intimate, I am finding that just holding /hugging the person is enough and seems to do the trick as it charges them up enough to be on their merry way. I get a bit of healing at the same time too 😀

 Sometimes just being there is enough Hugs - calvin and hobbes


I want to sleep with you  - just sleep with you

Being an energetically sensitive old soul is a strange thing when you meet someone with a similar vibe, especially if you are attempting to become enlightened/make spiritual advancements in this lifetime. I have to be really careful nowadays not to get it twisted and remember that it is not a case of love at first sight or a feeling of sexual arousal as most of the people who are attracted to me seem to think… I met people while travelling last summer that I felt deeply attached to and it was so nice just to sleep beside them and hold them for the night. It was a deeply gratifying experience full of admiration, appreciation and attraction without the attachment or entanglement.

It is more a case of feeling like you have found a long-lost friend, a soul brother or sister as it were. It is a deeper connection than can be achieved on a physical level, it is a connection of a kindred spirit who is on a similar mission to you or who has some lesson to teach you to assist you on your way to the next level.eyes You have probably already loved them before in another life so no rush to go there again.  You know it when you meet them and it’s all in the eyes beckarma cleanseause the eyes are the windows of the soul and when you look through that window and see something you recognise or have known before in another life, of course, your natural reaction will be start a reunion. But I would advise caution with that so that you don’t incur more karma in this lifetime by messing with someone’s emotions or interfering with their relationship if they are already in one. Don’t get it twisted, don’t get tangled up 😀 Ask yourself why you really feel the need to attach yourself to someone and if you do get involved, make sure you learn the lesson, release and move on.


I have big heart If there is one thing I am learning about myself it is that I have no patience and act impulsively so these days I do my best to wait and see why I am feeling the way I am about a person and what I think I will learn about myself by being involved with them. Through analysis I find I save the trouble of causing them or myself any heartache because it’s either just a spiritual/ soul connection or just my ego asking to be stroked through such an alliance.

Heart - having a big one Many empaths are very loving people and have a lot of love to give and sometimes show physical love to people who just need love, care and affection. Empaths sometimes end up in a relationship with someone whom they ought not to be with if they were to stay true to themselves and their principles but because they are so loving and prefer to find focus on the good in someone then they ignore the person’s negative traits and behaviours and often stay in the relationship way longer than they should AND FAR TOO PATIENT. It has taken me a bit of time to learn that I shouldn’t be physical with someone just because they want it to be so because what they really need is love and support in a non-physical sense i.e. healing. Love is the greatest healing energy If and when it is the right time to be in love again and intimate with someone, I will know it 😀 Till then, I’ll put the sexual energy into my dancing, and my expression of love into my compassionate work with the disaffected & disadvantaged youth of today.  There isn’t enough of that kind of love around in the world. Since I have love in abundance, too much to reserve for just one person, I figure it’s best to put it to good use for myself and the masses. People tend to disagree with me on this point but I feel a certain kind of bliss that is permanent from practising this kind of spiritual love and as strange as it may sound, no orgasm would be able to surpass this kind of feeling 😀


  • Here’s an article on sex and spirituality and how they can be combined
  • This article discusses why it may be dangerous to shut down your 2nd chakra by not having sex (personally I think since it governs sex and creativity so it is still active through my dancing :D)
  • This one is an interesting read on women and the use of tantric sex for spiritual alchemy
  • Here’s a short read on sex with a soulmate
  • If you are interested in what kinds/types of soul-mates there are out there then try this
  • If you are new to these topics then Google empath, indigo, crystal, clairsentient, clairvoyant, auras, chakras, intuitive healer, rainbow warrior or all of the above and see where it leads 😀

♥<3 Namaste <3♥

Namaste If this helped any or if you have bits of your own story/journey that can help others, then why not leave a comment? Sharing’s caring 😀


There are many soulmates but is only one twin… Are you ready?

twinSoul -characteristicsTHERE CAN BE ONLY ONE….

In life, you will have many, many soulmates, some are family members, some colleagues, some friends, some enemies whose job is to push your buttons to force you to grow BUT you ONLY have ONE twin soul! This is the person with whom you instantly connect with not just physically, mentally and emotionally but most importantly, SPIRITUALLY. You will feel instantly comfortable with them as if you have known then a thousand years because basically, you have 😀 There are many people in your soul group who just get you but there is ONLY ONE person who vibrates on the same unique frequency as you and when you meet them, you will know it by the startingly easy ability to feel comfortable being you around them.. but first you need to get to know who the real you actually is….

Only one person with the same exact frequency as you..
Only one person with the same exact frequency as you..


Just when I was at that point when I though that my heart would never mend from my last karmic relationship which was so profoundly intense I thought I would never love like that again, when I decided that the only relationship I need to have is with myself, when I decided that I need to find a way to love myself completely 100% and not try to find someone to fix in the hope they can fix me, when I realise that I have achieved that goal and now need NO ONE/NOTHING to complete me, that’s when my twin shows up, introduces himself, reboots my heart, then leaves the country  (another test lol)


Sounds kind of depressing? It would be but here’s a little secret – you are so whole by this point that their presence or absence is no biggie. And the best bit? You realise that this deep instant connection which defies all description has an intensity to great that it defies all time and space so much so that distance does not pose a problem… Time and space are no obstacle for those who are connected on a number of levels That’s when you know 😀

Even when they are not next to you the bond remains… They may have already showed up in your dreams before you even met and will continue to do so even when they are absent 😀 


When you love yourself warts and all, you will attract someone as whole as you are 😀

All this just goes to show that once again the beautiful law of attraction. They say be the change you want to see in the world, rather than running around trying to change the world and make people wake up and start acting differently all you have to do is sort your own sh*t out.. Same with attracting your twin.. When you love yourself warts and all, you will attract someone as whole as you are :D

As soon as you love yourself unconditionally and are total aware of and happy with your light and dark side, someone will turn up who feels exactly the same  – they will not try to change what you are and and you will not feel compelled to try to conform to some ideal you think they might like… You can be yourself and that is all that they will ask of you and exactly the reason why they will instantly be attracted to you. 
Every relationship you have ever had is getting you ready for “the one” 😀
 But the most important relationship that most people never have is the one with themselves!!!


My last karmic relationship lasted a LONG ASS TIME simply because I refused to let go hoping that the potential I saw in the person would eventually manifest itself.. Well, after 6 years of the highest highs and lowest lows, sadly it never did… You can fall in love with someone’s future potential, but you will end up marrying their present reality. Fate controls who walks into your lifeThe issue was that when I upgraded my level of spirituality to become a dedicated lightworker, and that person didn’t follow because they weren’t meant to.. My timetable was not theirs… Once I came to terms with the fact that I was not going to be the one to fix them, I had to walk away even though for up to two years after the split it still hurt like f*ck….Right at the end, I got pregnant and had to make worst decision of my life… Bring a child into a potentially turbulent situation which may never right itself or make one less unhappy child by doing the one thing I hoped I would never have to do…. In the end I chose the latter but I now see that there was no other choice…. I read an article that said that some souls choose to come into the world as an aborted child so I have made my peace with that particularly traumatic decision…


How do you even go about trying to gather up your faculties to start all over again with someone new? Well, guess what? If you go away and think about the lessons you learned and get to know you are ON YOUR OWN and learn to love what you find, then you DON’T NEED TO start all over again… Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to fulfill your potentialYou don’t need to retell all your insecurities and fears or relate your personal story or even elaborate on your dreams… When you meet your twin – THEY ALREADY KNOW!!  More importantly, NONE OF IT will be relevant because you are about to LEAVE BEHIND from your respective histories of pain and sorrow, failure and rejection and make a brand new story that will be a force to be reckoned with…. All of the relationships I had up to this point were so incredibly intense and they helped heal parts of my broken soul that I could not have reached alone…. but there was ONLY ONE WAY to make myself completely and that was to be MARRIED TO MYSELF for a bit on my own without relying on anyone else to make me happy…. it arrives when you least expect itWhen you accomplish this task, NOTHING and NO ONE can phase you… That is when you will vibrate at such a high level – THE HIGHEST FREQUENCY YOU CAN BE  – that you will send out the signal to the other half of you and just like that -BAM! They will just turn up out of nowhere! You won’t have to go looking for it..


The rule is you simply stop looking 😀 If you think you know what you are looking for, well, you are still searching for a missing piece of your puzzle… You need to put that piece in place FIRST and then be whole at which point you won’t even need a companion anymore…

Be who are as you never know who would love the person you hideYou won’t be bothered about having no one to kiss at night or wake up to… You won’t be scared that there is no one to share those funny/sad moments with. It won’t be an issue that there is no one to confide in or show your dark/insecure side to… You will already be at the point when you don’t need someone to validate how cool and awesome you are or what a fool you can be sometimes because you will have accepted everything that you are warts and all and are happy to just be you and not pretend to be something you are not….It is exactly at this point they will appear in a place you don’t normally go, at a time you least expect it…

As a former control, letting go and going with the flow was a great challenge :D
As a former control, letting go and going with the flow was a great challenge 😀

Still not getting it? I have a good analogy for this process: I listen to music everywhere I go, I am rarely found without my headphones in. But the other day, they weren’t in attached to my ipod and I searched high and low for them to no avail.. It got to the point when I realised I would be seriously late for my appointment if I didn’t leave without them but THE DESPERATE NEED to have my music remained and so the search continued. After a few more minutes of frantic searching, I finally made peace with the fact that I have to go on without them and then BAM – I see them hanging on the banister by the door… As soon as I learnt to let go and not need them, they appeared 😀   Don’t go running around wondering who it might be. Don’t go chasing after someone you had a bit of connection to… There will be no pursuit… There will be no struggle. it will be as effortless as looking in the mirror – your reflection will just be there one day 😀

WHAT WILL IT FEEL LIKE I HEAR YOU ASK?Fallingi n love is like the rain

It may not be a lust or love at first sight as previously, but you will have an instant easy rapport… A connection and bond that just flows… You won’t have to explain anything. I am not getting to know you but remembering who you areYou won’t need to mould yourself or pretend to be someone you are not or what you think they might like… You will probably not be all that bothered when you come across them so disinterested are you in hunting for a missing piece to complete you. You may start out as friends or colleagues. Gradually you will start to grow fond of them due to the superior mood you are in whenever they are around…. The love well that will sneak up on you and grow with each meeting until before you know it, you realise you are ready to see your beautiful completeness in the eyes of another again 😀 


You have been apart from this other half of you FOR AGES and there is a lot of accumulated karma to get through so THERE ARE STAGES to this union becoming the ultimate reunion – IT’S NOT ALL ROSES! First you have the instant connection, then you have the feeling you like having this person around. Then it dawns on you that you might want to take it further, then you express this to them and find out they feel the same. Then comes the commitment and you have that delicious honeymoon period that you have not had while you were busy working on yourself. Now for the important phase – the fights and issues manifest themselves as you take on the challenge of completing any unfinished business or taking care of karma from previous lives, It is normally during this period that one of you will try to run… but you won’t get far 😀Runner and chaser Either the one who runs gets caught by the chaser or the chaser gives up and soul shocks the fugitive into returning to base… The reason for this? The one who runs is the one who is less spiritually advanced and is not able to comprehend the process taking place… If you aren’t both ready, it ain’t gonna work… It is all about timing….


Just so you know, you may not end up marrying this person… It may just end up being a business partner, or a creative collaborator, or a friend you can call on at any point in your life.Star-crossed lovers in history BUT you will ALWAYS have a deep connection that simply can’t be broken… Sometimes you meet when the other has given up and stopped waiting/searching and is already married by the time you turn up…. Sometimes, the runner keeps on running due to fear and not being ready for the amount of growth such a union results in…. Next time around, eh? Bridges of Madison County is a great book/film which illustrates this  – Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood star 😀 If you meet and both are not ready or not available, then it won’t be a happy-ever-after in this particular lifetime… Still, you will always have yourself 😀


Until the next phase of my story kicks in, I won’t elaborate on the crazy synchronicities or signs or moments that led up to this meeting (If nothing comes of it or I get run over by a bus tomorrow, I am very glad that I got this far in this lifetime 😀 I can sort it out the next time around ) here are some good blogs on what a twin is, how it turns up  + a more detailed description of the stages you will go through and finally  – AND MOST IMPORTANTLY- what the reason for being reunited at long last is….Believe me, it is the most important reason there could be, more important than producing a child or making yourself feel loved… Look around at the state of planet Earth and you will get what I am talking about 😀 I would love to hear your experiences if you are still working through a karmic relationsihp or currently in a period of looking inward alone 😀

If you are into astrology, here is a link which will tell you what to look for in your composite/synastry chart analysis.. I didn’t need it but it was nice to have it confirmed….

What is 8isis8 about?

Ready for the truth? What is Isis8Star (me) and the 8isis8 blog all about?


Rainbow warriors - roxydollarts

Welcome rebels/ rainbow warriors – we are all one at heart… It is words that define us but love that connect us 😀 Much news is coming to light about what is really going on in our world and who is running it and how… we are going to be drowning in an avalanche of negative news and startling revelations but at the end of all of this what we will find waiting for us is a time of love, not fear, hope, not despair, enlightenment, not perpetual darkness, FOR ALL. We are ONE. Namaste xxxxx



Everyone is going through some form of transformation these days and there seem to be waves upon waves of people in the West and elsewhere waking up to the realisation that there is something definitely wrong with our “civilized” way of life and that maybe we have gone too far with our relentless drive to make everything easier and quicker with the use of technology and science…

Richmond deer Park  - July 2011Nature -  Amazon


Everything that is beautiful on this planet is based on nature… There is nothing that has been built or made that was not synthesised having observed what was happening in nature first… Think of Aspirin – taken from the bark of the willow tree… Penicillin – discovered after observing what happened with an unwashed petri dish, hi-tech materials or space flight – simulated and recreated after watching certain animals and birds at speed/in flight; sim cards, LCD screens, semiconductors, silicon chips –

Himalayn Crystal

all made available after the discovery of how much energquartz crystals can hold, transmit and amplify. Even yoga was created after observing the poses that a cat makes from the moment it wakes till the time it take its next nap…. Nature is a wonderful thing yet Mother Earth has almost been gutted dry and milked of all of her beautiful bounties…

 Man belongs to the earth  the earth does not belong to man


Back in the good old days, ancient tribes (keepers of this planet whose home, customs and languages have all but been wiped off the planet), had a very specific system for keeping balance… They worked with the unseen great mystery that is God/Goddess/Spirit/Gaia to ensure that we were always in sync with the earth’s energies and the movements of the planets and the natural rhythm of the seasons which meant that our relationship with the planet was a harmonious one… But now, many years later, here we are…. Wondering how best to tell our children (if we are brave enough to bring them into this world right now) that they are about to inherit an Earth that is practically drained to exhaustion; an earth that has a minority of inhabitants with plenty in the material sense (but who are deeply unhappy), and the largest majority without food or water despite there being plenty of resources.


Be the change you want to see in the world
BE the change you want to SEE

It is a planet with a loss of identity and while I could go on for hours about how we got here and why this is happening, I want this blog to focus on how it can be rectified in time before it is too late… We have a planet with a loss of identity and only when each of its inhabitants regains their own individual identity and heals on a deep personal basis to remember WHO WE REALLY ARE only then can we “heal the world and make it a better place” as a phenomenally talented man once sang 😀


This blog is for the people who are already doing their bit, but also for the next generation who are here to save us but are having difficulty functioning in this low density mess of attitudes and actions that they see around them… There is going to be info posted here that will seem strange and foreign yet deep down in your soul and heart you will realise that you already knew this stuff, heard it from your grandma, read it when you had a rare moment to yourself while you were searching for something else, or caught it on a post you saw from a friend – THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE 😉

PLEASE NOTE – since a picture speaks a thousand words, there are many images in my post – where I have not been able to use a photo I have taken myself, any images found here will link through to their original source to ensure that credit is given where credit is due 😀 if you would like any of your visionary art to accompany a blog, lemme know ! 

WAKEY WAKEY! Light Manifesto

WAKEY WAKEY! Warriors of Light Manifesto (aka YOU/WE ARE AMAZING!!)

Stop Thinking, Start Feeling 😀

(9 May 2012 at 05:14 reblogged from Facebook Notes)


We are sleeper visionary revolutionaries and veritable FORCES OF NATURE who enjoy charging into the spaces where angels fear to tread in order to raise the vibration.We PROBE at the core of the soul of each person we encounter by combining our love of constantly challenging the norms, questioning everything and playing devil’s advocate in an attempt to get people to THINK and be AWARE of who they are and what is happening around them so that they realise that EACH Of US is a potential HERO-IN-WAITING/ The One/NEO in our own personal matrix and NOT a helpless victim/pawn in this game of life…With the help of the bottomless pit of love and energy that is contained within OUR indefatigable heart plus a rather packed timetable of random acts of kindness, WE shall continue to encourage each being we come across (as well as each other) to do the following:

  • 1 – Recognise their unique talents & fulfill their POTENTIAL
  • 2 – Stop pondering the question of life after death and start worrying about life BEFORE death
  • 3 – OPEN THEIR EYES and see that we are temporary guardians of this planet and that the daily destruction of its finely balanced eco-systems is the equivalent of putting arsenic in your morning cup o’tea
  • 4 – Realise they can co-create their own destiny/fate
  • 5 – Contemplate the notion that YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, but you can change the HERE AND NOW with every divine opportunity you are given to take another breath
  • 6- Consider the far-reaching effect of their every negative thought, word and deed and, most importantly, INTENTION
  • 7 – Remember each morn they wake that EVERY ONE OF US is a human being with UNIQUE pair of shoes that NO ONE ELSE can fill
  • 8 – Never forget that WE ARE ALLLLLLLLLLLLL EQUAL AND ONE and have the right to be treated as a human being without the constant fear of our rights being violated or life being extinguished at the twitch of a GD trigger happy finger…

WE CAN EACH CHANGE THE WORLD, ONE DAY AT A TIME, ONE PERSON AT A TIME (starting with ourselves) – IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THE WAY IT PRESENTLY IS!!!!! If you think I am talking nonsense the ask yourself how it is that I am not an ILLITERATE SLAVE or a HOUSEBOUND WOMAN woman relying on the vote of her husband (not her own) to decide the fate of her nation…

Stop Thinking, Start Feeling 😀 I know I can’t take much more of my overactive mind 🙂 Heart -based consciousnes here we come… Remember it gets darkest before the dawn 😀


We are all connected… Namaste 🙂

A New Day is Dawning,
Because it is time for a change,
With new consciousness forming,
There comes a NEW DAY 🙂


<3 Live Your Dream – Follow your Bliss <3

On New Year’s Eve 2013 it was exactly 14 months since I had picked up my first pair of poi and 6 months since I bought my contact staff yet here I was performing for a fee at an event attended by thousands in an outfit I designed and made on a budget of 26 quid. NYE outfit fullHere’s the story of my transformation…

I was a lonely kidLorrena as a kid
and books and music were my best friends. When I wasn’t voraciously devouring a book, I would sit alone in my room taping songs off the radio (yep, I’m that old :D), learning the lyrics off by heart and making up dance routines to them… No one ever knew I did it and I never showed anyone…

Growing up, I had some tough emotional times filled with suicidal thoughts & attempts for reasons I’ll go into another day but I was intensely private; To be the best you must handle the worstI was never one to confide in others so I would put on my headphones and sing or dance to make myself feel better.
dance your divine light

I can’t really explain it but even if I am asleep, if I hear a good tune, I will immediately start jigging away as if I am filled with a sudden burst of energy. In these moments of being bathed in spirit, everything is illuminated, I don’t know how else to explain it. I would ponder a problem (mine or someone else’s) then solutions would just appear out of nowhere… I have always known I had access to the collective consciousness but somehow I never realised the role that music played providing an entry point until writing this today. Music

AT 11, all that reading paid off when I got a scholarship to one of the top public schools in the country, Christ’s Hospital. CH

CH  grounds Lorrena@CH

They had an amazing music school there and I learnt to play the violin, piano and trumpet to a professional level and was a member of its choir, orchestra and marching band…. CH _ Lord Mayor's Show CH_Chapel

However, the time I came most alive was when I was alone… I was in a full boarding environment there so I had access to a music 24/7…It wasn’t enough for me to hear my favourite songs – I had to reproduce it and submerge myself further… so I would turn on my Walkman (for anyone under 20 that’s an old school ipod;D)  and listen to a track, then play back the song by ear on the piano… I then did the same on the other instruments.  At one point I knew all the violin solos on the Levellers (if you are under 20, Google them) albumsThe Levellers. Again, this was done in solitude, for seven years till I was 18, no one would ever know I did these things. Not my family, not my friends, just me.
But then I went to uni and without funds to buy my own instruments, I had no opportunity to continue playing so I focussed on my studies instead and for two years I played not one note…


The year before I was supposed to graduate I spent a year abroad in Russia as part of my course and there I found an underground world of dance music , a music producer boyfriend and jazz band artist… My parents had been really over-protective (I was rarely allowed out of the house nor allowed to keep friends outside of term time and  remember,  this is back in the days before internet social media) so aged 20 let loose with disposable income in a foreign land, I threw myself into the world of clubbing and pretty much was out dancing every night (suffice it to say, my Russian got pretty damn good ;D).

Russia_ Map

I ended up staying an extra year almost throwing away my degree to sing and play trumpet in my boyfriend’s jazz band… I got to hang out with famous musicians who were obsessed with ‘black’ people and music and for the first time in my life, my pigmentation was actually a bonus and the socially-awkard secret music-loving geek became ‘cool’ for the first time and began to come out of her shell…Transition - phoenix

The meaning of life is to give life a meaning

I knew that I would be going back to the UK to graduate and get a corporate job and I always wondered how my boyfriend survived as a musician… I would revel in the all-night jamming sessions, wonder at the lack of routine or certainty, watch with admiration as these creative creatures would perform on stage without a hint of nerves, and feel pain/fear during the periods when others would worry how they were going to eat the next week in a country with no social benefits system…
Do what you love It was an amazing 2 years of observing those living life at the opposite end of the spectrum to where I was headed – a claustrophobic world where money and status would be more valued than creativity and social freedom by all those around me…To be a star you must shin your light

MY TRANSITION 2008 -2011 :
So how exactly did I get to this place where I am now? Well, that’s a story with many twists and turns during a long period of inner work so I’ll leave that for another time but, in short. what initiated it was the death of my surrogate mother 6 years down the line in September 2008.Aunty I took a month out of work though stress (having never once pulled a sickie) which was a big no-no given the nature of my job but because I couldn’t express to my boss what I was going through, I would eventually be was first in line for redundancy when the credit crunch hit.
Adam Smith  - stage
things will work out who they are supposed to


A month after my return to work (where I was treated as a pariah for having lost the company money due to my unexplained absence despite having made them millions)  a friend invited me to spend three weeks at a yoga retreat to Thailand in December – this is where I witnessed my first fire poi performance (and got a tattoo!) ThailandYoga AsanasThree months later the redundancy came as predicted so with time on my hands, The meaning of life is to give life a meaning I started to revisit topics I had begun as a child exploring spirituality, natural herbal remedies, crystal healing and other therapies and initiated a plan to help neurodivergent people like myself, especially kids… Crystal grid

Crystals and Buddha
It's the end of the world said the caterpillar SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND:
During my investigations I kept coming across stuff about the Maya and an online search  ended up with me stumbling across a Mayan themed party and there I met someone who introduced me to the squat scene full of people intent on freeing their mind.yellow lunar warrior From that moment, I started to go to illegal parties to do healing areas Cave Gallery healing room

squat party_2

Squat party and, of course, I danced my socks off. Cosmo 2011It was in this environment that I saw people doing circus stuff like poi/hoop/staff manipulation. It fascinated me but I never thought to try it


Four months before the December 21st 2012 Winter SolsticeYugas

Precession-of-the-Equinox I saw a pair of poi at a friend’s house ( I was crashing there after I left my teaching job and was homeless :/) .Transition - phoenix That night I had a dream that I was spinning poi and when I woke up I took them to the park to have a go. I didn’t know what to do but when I listened to music, I would dance and the poi would do cool stuff.. I watched a couple of tutorials but it never worked as well as when I just moved to music. I started to video myself day and night and could regularly be found spinning poi at train stations and while waiting for the Tube watching my reflection in any surface I could find (I remember how happy I was when the train was delayed or cancelled lol). There was a spinning group that met regularly in London; I went once but was overwhelmed by the awesomeness of everyone around me (and also their capacity to drink lol). They were all so confident! I also realised that I learn better when I am alone with spirit… I just somehow knew what to and contact poi

I had started a graduate teacher training programme but I was appalled by the state system and knew that it was not fit for purpose so I left, precipitating a period of homelessness. I couldn’t bring myself to squat (I need to be alone too much to share my space) and I had never lived with anyone who wasn’t my partner so when I got the opportunity to house-sit for a friend in Kent, I jumped at the opportunity even though I would be leaving everything/everyone behind. The second day after arriving, I had the urge to spin as soon as I woke up, so I found a local park. It started to rain and then there was an auspicious double rainbow.

Double Rainbow
Double Rainbow

Something told me to return to the same spot the next day and I did. Five minutes in, another spinner came over and introduced himself. He took me to a local circus club and invited me to spin with his group at a party in Essex the following weekend. I’d only been spinning for 10 months at this point and was nervous to perform with a bunch of strangers. I hadn’t spun with anyone else so I had no way to gauge if I was any good or not…I stuck my earphones in and off I went.


I started to spin in the local park and kids would come over and ask what I was doing and why so I would let them have a go.Chi Ki Kids I have always taught myself every subject I know so I am good at breaking down information and I got so much joy from watching particularly challenging kids who, no doubt, were regularly rebelling in the classroom become calm and focussed when they had poi in their hands..Naughty kids in the park
In July I decided to buy a staff and was mesmerised. I had no internet, so again, the music taught me what to do. In August, someone recommended me to a circus shop to demo the products at festivals.
Lodestar Festival_Sept 2013_ kids with my crutches

Lodestar Festival_Sept 2013

Brisfest 2013


I only went to seven events but on each occasion I got to spend time with experienced circus performers and I started to realise that I could really do this for a living but I would have to find a way to get over my shyness and get my confidence up…

In the middle of December, I decided to go to London to attend the London Spinners Christmas cabaret…. I didn’t know anyone and no one knew me. I watched the performers in the cabaret and it started to dawn on me that I wasn’t there to just watch them but to realise that I had become one of them! When I got back to Kent, something told me to check the group’s posts and there was a request for spinners for a New Year’s Eve event so I offered my services. I took my fire poi and my contact staff which I had only had for five months and had never lit…LED hoop and fire staff Lorrena_2 It was the strangest point of my life… 14 months after picking up my first circus prop, I was performing. For money. In front of people. Mental! The most important part for me is that I know when you spin, you create sacred geometry/healing mandalas and the opportunity to do this consciously for so many people makes me SO EXCITED!Flower of life

When I was a kid, I used to imagine myself performing but I never imagined I would end up doing it. I had always excelled academically and had never had any importance placed on creativity but now I can’t think of doing anything else. Such is the nature of the times we are living in – the return of the divine feminine, that chaotic, dark energy which if channelled intuitively can bring magic to life and give birth to dreams.
Live in the present

My years of solitude gave me plenty of time to analyse and let go of many traumatic experiences I had endured alone and in silence and the music ensured that I could fully heal and start to welcome in these creative experiences.
Right brain left brain

As for the Right side of my brain, my academic mind will not go to waste as I know I can write down my experiences for others to benefit from 😀 I have never been in the habit of opening up to people, more interested in helping them to overcome the issues at the heart of their insecurities and find the confidence to live their dream so this post is a bit dry, but it is definitely time to share my experiences, if only to show myself how far I have come with my inner work after decades of being silent. there is work to be done inside myself and outside

I would love to hear from you if you are mid-transition/post-transition. I would also be interested if you have seen me out and about and have any constructive criticism – when you spend so much time on your own, you never really know where you are. It’s always good to know you are not alone during these times of change so please do share your stories 😀
We are building a network of enlightened beings

BTW, there are a lot of “I”s in this story but there were many people I came across who played their role in my transformation. We are all a piece of each other’s puzzle and I have lots still to learn 😀 Namaste ❤ To be a star you must shin your light

Val ball costume_2

Above – my costume for Valentine’s fire dance which I put together today 😀

More on my circus outreach youth programme here:

The wasp is very social, and has special means of communication with its family and is associated with productivity, order and evolution...
The wasp is very social, and has special means of communication with its family and is associated with productivity, order and evolution…

This morning the first thing I saw was a wasp – whenever I see an animal repeatedly or one catches my attention whether in my waking life or my dreams, I know it is trying to tell me something – so I guess I need to get my shi8 together as regards my summer project for kids since the wasp represents productivity, getting on with new projects and keeping one’s focus… So this week, I am going to finally print some flyers…Gulp… I have been thinking about this activity club for kids since last summer when children approached me in the Crystal Palace park and their parents asked if I was running some kind of club for kids… I love doing voluntary youth work and working as a private tutor for hyperactive kids but I know I can do more since I strongly believe that kids need to be OUTSIDE in nature, not holed up in their bedroom watching Rihanna’s antics,

Fame & money can't buy you happiness it seems...
Rihanna and the cult of celebrity which is ruining the minds of today’s youth…

discussing celebrity news, zoning out to mindless TV or searching for porn (if one believes recent research findings)…So I yesterday I started to populate my Facebook page(Isis8star), uploaded some videos and will make my flyers by the end of the week… Yes. I. Will!

It is not like I am not getting daily encouragement, mind you…I was on the train yesterday very tired after a long session with my ‘autistic’ pupil, and two kids were in front of me messing around … I looked at the dad and smiled then started pulling faces at the kids.. It turns out that the father was deaf as were his children with the daughter being mute additionally.. I thought I would struggle to communicate with them, but by the end of my train journey I was tickling one upside down and teaching the other one how to spin poi (much to the chagrin of my fellow passengers;-)) It is days like these that make me want to keep soldiering on as the dad mouthed to me that he had never seen them so happy 😀 Coincidentally, I know that this moment happened for a reason so it made me want to finish my Makaton course and start studying sign language properly

Makaton is a communication system that uses speech along with body language, signs, and pictures to represent words and names.... Every primary school should be using this, every teacher should know it!
Makaton is a communication system that uses speech along with body language, signs, and pictures to represent words and names…. Every primary school should be using this, every teacher should know it!

So, one of the questions one has to ask oneself if one sees is a wasp is, am I am in line with my goals, am I procrastinating or allowing others to get in the way of my projects?

Never feel guilty about putting yourself first...You can't help anyone if you are running on empty!
Never feel guilty about putting yourself first…You can’t help anyone if you are running on empty!

Honestly, the last year has been about trying to find someone to who understands what I am trying to do and will allow me to couch surf while I save money for this project as I no longer live in London.. But sadly these arrangements always turned into me playing life coach to the person in question by introducing them to crystals, veganism, less intoxicating lifestyle etc rather than focussing on myself… Not gonna happen this year, I have to put my foot down..I can’t blame anyone else by myself.. I have to be much firmer and unwavering in my approach to my goal but finding the alone time to do that has been rather tricky!

The children are our future - we need to get it right!
The children are our future – we need to get it right!


Very few people understand why I don’t feel the need to be in a relationship right now.. I actually gave up the love of my life and the opportunity to have my own kids two years ago when I realised that all my energy had to go into becoming a teacher and making the world a better and safer place for the hundreds of kids who don’t seem to have any adequate guidance and feel a bit lost these days… Our nation’s education system is not working and kids are feeling more and more disenfranchised and disillusioned every day. Not to mention the fact that the number of children with ‘special education needs’ is growing exponentially and very few schools are equipped with a head who gets this, let alone teachers or learning assistants who are aware of the techniques required to assist these children.. I always say, there are no learning difficulties, only learning differences..

The Scottish rebel who is responsible for England's first Alternative Free School - Summer Hill
The Scottish rebel who is responsible for England’s first Alternative Free School – Summer Hill
Steiner Schools place emphasis on movement and spirituality (click photo for more on his theory :D)
Steiner Schools place emphasis on movement and spirituality (click photo for more on his theory :D)
Maria Montessori, FIRST the education of THE SENSES , then the education of the intellect
Maria Montessori, FIRST the education of THE SENSES , then the education of the intellect

My experience of being in a state school and tutoring private pupils is that teachers always focus on what these children lack, rather than paying attention to what they CAN do.. They may have dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, not be able to focus on one thing or keep their bums on their seats BUT if you look a little deeper, you will find that they are great artists, natural musicians, are amazingly coordinated or have a deep knowledge and understanding of subjects that most adults struggle with… They are here to teach us a different way to be, if only anyone would listen to them/pay attention…

Please click here for an article/video on these revolutionary philosophies:


Hilaria Baldwin 2 INDIGO Stylized children around a rainbow

All my time should be taken up with doing research on healing modalities for kids with ADD and ADHD as well as Autism/Asberger’s (for the record, I hate these labels!) but other people’s designs on my time tend to get in the way… Every time I take an interest in an adult’s welfare and try and help them out a bit, they interpret this as love meant especially for them… Well, it is, in a way, but it’s ‘cosmic’ love, as in the same love I have for all my fellow brothers and sisters… I try to show people how to stand strong and find their hidden talents but by helping them to recognise what no other has done, they misread my efforts and intention. The point is to get them to love themselves from the inside. No one can truly love you until this happens!!! There are plenty of kids who do not love themselves, have never been shown, and will never know what it really is as they have parents who themselves did not receive enough growing up. If you get to the kids, I believe the magic works its way through the family as well as into the future of our planet 😀

indigo, crystal, rainbow


Every animal knows more than you do
Anyway, I digress… If you see a wasp, (or anything in nature), and it sticks in your mind, consider what it means for you:

“The prime season of the wasp is spring, and so it is symbolic of new beginnings, and starting new projects.

The wasp is very social, and has special means of communication with its family. When the wasp appears in our lives it is a message for us to consider our own methods of communication. The wasp might be a sign that we may need to express ourselves more clearly.

Because the wasp is symbolic of communication, order and productivity, those who encounter the wasp may ask themselves:

  • “Are all my affairs in order?”
  • “Am I aligning myself with my goals?”
  • “Am I procrastinating about something?”
  • “Am I keeping myself from reaching my highest potential?”
  • “Am I allowing my progress to be held back by others?”

Wasps are perfect totems for those of us who need a bit of organized focus, and assistance with assertive communication.

The wasp can also help in areas of building, whether it be a new home, or building on a dream – the wasp is a master architect and can guide you with the planning of any building project you have in mind.


Veggie basics

Veggie basics

Thinking of going veggie but worried about your protein intake? TRY QUINOA! You can use it anywhere you normally have rice or potatoes in a curry or a stew 😀  It is soooo much cheaper than ham, bacon, salami, sausages, burgers, etc 😀 (They sell it in Waitrose –  4 quid for 1/2 kilo but sure you can find it elsewhere for cheaper!)

Going Veggie – it is easier than you think :-D

Thinking of going veggie but worried about your protein intake? TRY QUINOA! You can use it anywhere you normally have rice or potatoes in a curry or a stew 😀  It is soooo much cheaper than ham, bacon, salami, sausages, burgers, etc 😀 (They sell it in Waitrose –  4 quid for 1/2 kilo but sure you can find it elsewhere for cheaper!)